


Splatted by Pizza

by Rise_Comics



Category: Splatoon
Genre: F/F, Humor, Mute Agent 4, Originally a headcanon, Pure Nonsense, it escalates quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-06-30 12:44:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15751911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rise_Comics/pseuds/Rise_Comics
Summary: It all started with a van...





	1. The Van

**Author's Note:**

> Katrina is mute in this story.
> 
> (Sign language)
> 
> “Dialogue”
> 
> ‘Thoughts’

 

 

Agent 4, better known as Katrina outside of the Squidbeak Splatoon, was in Octo Valley. Having recently completed another patrol, she kicks back to watch something on TV in the shack.

 

All of a sudden, Callie barges in. “Hey 4!” she says. “May I borrow your van?”  
(My van?) she asks. (Why do you need it?)

“I really need it for, uhh, stuff.”

(Okay I guess? Just give it back in one piece)

“Thanks 4” Callie said, as she took the keys to Katrina’s van and ran off.

As Callie left, Marie walked towards Katrina.

“What was that about?” Marie asked.

(Callie wanted to borrow my van, but never gave me a reason why.)

“Weird. She usually doesn’t drive that often, even after passing her driver’s test about a month ago.”

(Wait, a month ago? I got mine at age 13.)

“Callie flunked her driving test at least a hundred times.”

(Wait, what! I don’t want my van damaged, it’s the only one I have!)

“Don’t worry, she’s much better at driving than she was before we split.”

(Okay, if you say so.)


	2. The Seanwich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katrina gets a Seanwich

Katrina was having lunch in Inkopolis Plaza. Playing Clam Blitz was exhausting enough, but playing Clam Blitz in Kelp Dome really made it tiring for Katrina, since she pretty much hated Kelp Dome as a stage.

 

All of a sudden, Katrina noticed something on the other side of the grate dividing Inkopolis Square from the street on the other side. Taking her Seanwich and drink, she went over to take a better look. Lo and behold, there was her van, parked next to the curb.

 

Then she gets bumped and her Seanwich thrown onto the sidewalk.

 

"Ohmygodimsosorrygottagobye!" was the only thing she heard, before her van drove away.

 

"So that's where my van went" thought Katrina.

 

And then she heard a loud noise, and tried to bolt off before getting slammed into the grate by a rushing wave of Paparazzi and fans.

 

As she recovered, she silently swore at Callie.

 

(ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!) she angrily signed, thinking of a way to get her revenge.


	3. The Argument

"YOU STOLE MY PIZZA!"

(YOU KILLED MY SANDWICH!)

"THERE'S NO FOOD IN THE FRIDGE!"

(THE FUCKING PAPARAZZI SWARMED MY VAN!)

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!"

Callie and Katrina stop their arguing and turned to face Marie.

"Now, I don't know how you thought anything warranted the actions each of you took, but you two need to work it out.

(How would we do that?) asked Katrina.

"I don't know, a Turf war?" Marie said.

"Sure," Callie replied. "We can do that"

Little did they know, that turf war will be the strangest turf war.

FYI: this was the hardest/quickest chapter to write.


	4. The Turf War

Moray Towers, a day after the Seanwich

It started out like any other match. The teams spawned in their respective spawn pads.

And then it started going wrong.

"Get out of my way." Callie said to another teammate. "She's mine"

Callie swung her roller at Katrina, only for her to catch it in her hands.

"Oh shi-" Splat!

Callie was flung over the railing and off the stage before respawning.

"-it and I'm back. Now where's the rest of my-oh."

Callie narrowly dodged a teammate careening her way, said teammate getting splatted on impact with the fence behind the spawn pad.

Callie jumped back down to the center of the stage, very pissed at being splatted way too many times. She sees Katrina in her sight. Callie lunges at her with her roller in hand, but gets splatted in the face.

"Pizza? Mother. Fucking. PIZZA!?" Callie screams in frustration.

Callie activates her baller. There is only 10 seconds left. Katrina had made her way up to the spawn pad in that time. Callie rushes towards Katrina, who responds by catching her. Callie expected this to happen, and was about to make her baller inksplode. Katrina realizes this in the nick of time, and punts Callie off of the stage.

Katrina: 68%

Callie: 23%

Winner: Katrina

**Author's Note:**

> I headcanon that Inklings get their driving licenses/ turf card at a younger age.


End file.
